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2011.02.07

●未来年間賞(黒木三千代選・15首)

【外界と対峙してゐる】

●外界と対峙してゐるはだへこそわれのこころとおもへこひびと (10/7月号「日々不穏」)

●ゆつくりと形をなしてきたりたるくみあげ湯葉のやうな感情 (10/7月号「日々不穏」)

●肉片がまだついてゐる愛などを噛み砕くとき奥歯をつかふ (10/6月号)

●降水と言い換えられる雨としてわたくしは会社員をしてゐる (10/6月号)

●かなしいかかなしくないかどちらかを選ばなければ(膜をはらずに) (10/3月号)

●東京でひとりで暮らすわたしには家族写真が一枚もない (10/8月号)

●あなたにも屋根裏部屋があるやうにわたしのなかに つもる埃 (10/3月号)

●他人にもある粘膜をあぢはへば貝のむき身のやうなわたくし (10/8月号)

●「カップルかファミリー以外この橋を渡るべからず」泳ぎてゆかむ (10/2月号)

●二マイナス一は一ではないんだよひととひととのこころのばあひ (09/11月号)

●欲望をかきたてあつて生きていくことにつかれてゐる資本主義 (09/11月号)

●デルヴォーの描く乳房は恒常性斜視のごとしもわれの目を見る (10/1月号「見る」)

●けだしくも舌にのせたら溶けさうなまひるまうすく透ける月読  (10/4月号)

●いつの日か行かうアフリカ 打楽器は体を出でたる脈拍なれば (10/9月号)

●引用をされると歌はうちがはのひだふるはせてひかりはじめる (09/11月号)


******


一箇所、旧仮名の表記まちがいがあったので(←自分の責任)、
訂正してあります。あわあわあわ。

1年間に提出した歌、112首から、
岡井先生に選歌された92首が「未来」に掲載されて、
そこから15首を黒木さんに選んでいただきました。(09/10月号から10/9月号まで)

この15首のタイトルとして、【外界と対峙してゐる】とつけてくださったのも黒木さんです。
ありがとうございました。

「この橋」は歌会で、松原さんにコテンパンにやっつけられた歌なんだよな、とか。
「デルヴォー」は、「デルヴォーっていう固有名詞を出したところが、底が割れちゃったね」と岡井先生に批評されたっけな、とか。
「アフリカ」は、ワールドカップのブブゼラ聞いてたときの歌だったな、とか。(ブブゼラは打楽器じゃないけど)
「けだしくも」は、万葉集に出てきてつかってみたかった言葉だったんだ、とか。
「膜をはらずに」のパーレン(丸かっこ)は、伊勢谷小枝子さんの影響だな、とか。

そうか、わたしはこんな歌を作っていたのか、みたいな、不思議な距離感。

(ちなみに、旧仮名にしたのは、09/9月号から。アジサイを【あぢさゐ】って書きたいと思ったのが旧仮名にしたきっかけでした。)

以下、選評。

◆一貫した問題意識、現代で働いて生きるなかでの詩を見ている。
◆自己という核心を通して、堅実に表現されている。
◆ユーモア、風刺、寂寥もあり、修辞的に工夫していて、技術的な目配りがある。
◆昨年までにくらべて、存在感が出てきた感じがある。
◆自分の生に責任を持って生きている人間が見える。


ありがとうございます。精進します。

※追記:表記まちがいがあったので、2箇所訂正しました。(2月10日)
微妙な部分を推敲しているので、いろんなバージョンがノートに残っているという罠・・・。

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